"Putting the 'Meat' back into Meeting Expectations"
For too long, the silent majority has watched from the sidelines as our local sizzles have been threatened by "low-fat" alternatives and the criminal lack of grilled onions. We believe in the God-given right to a snag on white bread—sliced diagonally—as the foundation of a free society.
The Sausage Party isn't just a political movement; it's a culinary crusade. We stand for the sizzle, the smoke, and the secondary serving.
Protection of the traditional beef and pork blend. We pledge to fight the "Sawdust Tax" and ensure every casing is filled with integrity.
Legislation to ensure onions are grilled until perfectly translucent. Raw onions at a fundraiser will be classified as a misdemeanor.
Access to Ketchup, Mustard, and BBQ sauce at all public parks. We will end the monopoly of the 'Single Sauce' dispensers.
"I was lost until I found the Sausage Party. Now I know where I stand—next to the barbecue, with onions."
"Finally, a party that gets it. My granddad fought for snag rights. I'm fighting for my grandkids' right to sauce."
"I've tried the other parties. They promised change. The Sausage Party delivered—I got my second snag at the last fundraiser."
"The Onion Mandate changed my life. No more raw onion trauma. Just translucent, caramelised hope."
Support the cause with dollars or snags. Every donation keeps the grill hot and our movement strong!
Our enlisted Grill-Masters, Onion Ambassadors, and Sausage Sentinels. Status updated as signups are confirmed.
No. A hot dog is a snag in a bun. Sandwiches are a separate category under Condiment Freedom. We do not comment on the bread-to-filling ratio of other parties.
One onion is a start. We support your journey. The Onion Mandate ensures quality, not quantity—we're fighting for properly grilled onions, not a quota. Two onions remain the recommended serving.
Snag Sovereignty is built on the sacred beef–pork blend. It's the foundation our grandparents grilled on. We're not here to police your home plate—but at official Sausage Party fundraisers, we serve the traditional blend. No sawdust. No mystery. Just beef, pork, and integrity.
Diagonal slicing maximises surface area for butter and ensures structural integrity under sauce load. This is not up for debate. We have commissioned studies.